Making Big Money Like The Real Rich

If you want to make those big dollars, why not get a few tips from the world's richest? I'm not talking Warren Buffett or Carlos Slim either, they got nothing on the real top dogs. If you can't acquire nations and run the world with your empire then you aren't making the real dollars. Here are a few tips to get you started:

War

War is extremely profitable. How does it work you ask? Easy, fund both sides. No war going on? Start one. All you have to do is feed the sheeple through the media and they'll believe anything you tell them. Profit, rinse and repeat. If you are really good you will be able to combine both war and...

...Oil

Looking to make a quick trillion? Why not try crude oil on for size? After all, it is the world currency. All you have to do is act as the middle man between the oil refineries and the oil companies and you will make a fortune. Be sure to keep the oil offshore because then you can bankrupt that nation after they are done buying all your debt. Build em and destroy em!

Inflation

Inflation is a fun money maker because nobody really knows you're making money with it (hidden tax FTW). Most people think inflation is a natural phenomenon that is a result of a smart, complex economy rather than an increase in the money supply. Those sheeple will fall for anything, now print dat money!

Interest Rates

This is a fun one to combine with inflation because they both work so well together. Lower the interest rates super low so that even the people who are in debt that don't deserve homes can still buy them (Tip: works especially well with the planned immigrants from previous years). 1 - 3% is a good range to run with. Sprinkle a few fancy terms around every now and then to make them think this is something serious and that without you nobody could run the country.

Once the banks finally find out that they were greedy and it was a bad idea to loan poor people easy loans start picking them off one by one. This works especially well if you already own the nation because then you can pick them off covertly via your government umbrella. Thank -God for DBAs.

Leveraging

Allow banks to leverage themselves many times over so that real money is taken out of the equation. Let them borrow it from another bank and let that bank borrow it from another. This works especially well in conjunction with the low interest rate technique. When the banks go bust, strike! Enjoy your new assets.

Income Tax

After you've raped everyone for everything they're worth this is a fun one to use because it assures you that nobody has caught on to your tactics yet. Just start doing it and pretend like it's real and they will listen to you. Be sure to use all the fancy terms to let everyone know that this is the law. If any smart ones try to call you out threaten jail time. An easy trillion.

Conclusion

I hope this list will treat you all well on your way to making that big money and destroying your fellow human beings in the process. Oh well, no big deal. We all know that the world isn't meant for helping people or evolving the human race.

When you make your first trillion drop me a line, I will be chillin in my underground base with plenty of drugs and women :).