"The love that you withhold is the pain that you carry."
"The love that you withhold is the pain that you carry."
These days people have a hard time accepting any wrong doing of their own volition. People are quick to blame everyone and everything except for the actual real cause of their problems: themselves.
In this world of social justice it is impossible to lose anymore. Any mistake or bad decision is no longer the fault of yourself, but the fault of somebody else. We learned to do it in 3rd grade and never outgrew it. What used to be limited to little children has now been upgraded to full grown adults. It's called making excuses and it's something we see increasingly around us.
To see a perfect of example of a victim we need look no further than Hillary Clinton. She straight up lost the presidential election to the shock of the vast majority of experts who never saw it coming. And of course, being the manipulator that she is, she did not take responsibility for the loss. Hillary Clinton losing clearly had nothing to do with herself, it had to do with something outside of herself. It couldn't have been that people liked Donald Trump more, it couldn't have been that Donald Trump outdid her, no way, that would put responsibility of the loss on her. That would be an adult explanation.
The 3rd grade version is that the election was manipulated by an outside force and Hillary was a victim. It wasn't that Hillary got beat, it was that:
To anyone with an IQ above room temperature you can see through this immediately. These cover stories are nothing but excuses to take the blame away from Hillary and put it on something else. This is no different than a child saying their dog ate their homework. It's an excuse. You're not a victim. You weren't set up. You lost. Of course making excuses is what comes natural to people who care more about their appearance rather than their character, but to people who care about character you only do a larger disservice to yourself the more you come up with victimized excuses.
And here is the thing. Hillary Clinton is not an idiot. People like Hillary Clinton know exactly what they are doing when they talk about Russians hacking the election and they use this to manipulate people. It works on less intelligent people and it's sad because all this does is allow her to operate at this childish level without actually having to change the way she is on the content of her character. Many, many people support the victimized world view and as such believe the fictional stories she perpetuates because they, themselves, have created fictional stories for themselves. Victims support other victims, even if the victim being supported is only doing it to manipulate and garner the support of other less intelligent people. It's a sad thing really. So much for taking the "higher road" I suppose.
The latest victim to fly onto the scene is Kathy Griffin. Kathy Griffin is a prime example of a fake victim and a crybully. Kathy Griffin purposefully created a decapitated head photo shoot of Donald Trump to gain political support. This wasn't supposed to be funny. It was supposed to show how much hate she has for the President of the United States. This was a high level virtue signal that backfired on her. She knew it was going to get attention, but she didn't know it was going to take a swing at her career.
So once this photo backfired on her she then did what most low quality, manipulative people do. She played the victim card. She turned it around and put it on Trump. She had the audacity to say that Trump is "trying to ruin my life". Yes, she turned a completely dark attack on the President around to where him defending himself was him trying to ruin her life. Had the stunt gone well and garnered support to ruin his life she wouldn't have cared about him in the least. It doesn't get more selfish than this.
It's a common pattern for victims to turn it around on you. Something they started now becomes something you started. Kathy Griffin started it. She created an offensive attack on Trump and then he defended himself. You can't attack somebody and be a victim. You started it. You shouldn't have been so stupid as to attack somebody who is much stronger than you. You were way out of your league and playing with the big boys. It backfired. This was your miscalculated mistake. You lost, you lost bad and now you must acquiesce to the consequences of bad decisions. This has nothing to do with Trump and 100% to do with you. Had you never started the sick, political virtue signal this would have never happened.
And of course she knows all this. She's not an idiot. Like Hillary she is just turning it around and playing the victim card to garner the emotional support of dumb people because that's all she can do at this point. She knows she messed up bad, got destroyed hard and she's doing what a 3rd grader does best. And it works pretty well for a lot of people since most people are about 1 step up from a 3rd grader. But it doesn't work on everyone.
Antifa: more victims who do nothing wrong. They go around starting trouble everywhere they go, using violence often times, and yet somehow they're victims of the evil Nazi right. Here we go again acting like 3rd graders, calling people names and using violence to get our way.
Calling somebody a Nazi doesn't make it so. To call somebody that you don't like a Nazi and then using violence against a term you made up for somebody doesn't somehow change reality. You can't label the people you don't like as Nazis and then use violence against them. You are not a victim and they are not aggressors.
In reality Antifa simply project on others what they are themselves. Antifa are the real Nazis and call anyone that doesn't agree with them a Nazi -- that's what a Nazi would do. But of course Antifa are victims of a Capitalist society where the rich 1% control everything and they have absolutely no hope for ever bettering themselves. Donald Trump has become president and the new Adolf Hitler is here.
Of course we see the same kind of artificial victimization with single mothers. Single mothers are an anomaly where we just can't quite possibly place our finger on where they come from. But when we're actually accurate about what is going on in the case of most single mothers it's obvious: single mothers choose to be single mothers. You're not a victim. You're not unfortunate. You made bad decisions and now are facing the consequences of those decisions.
You're not a victim if you choose your own fate. When people enter a relationship and have a kid that isn't an accident. Sex is not an accident in the vast majority of cases. People choose to have sex. People choose to have children. And if you choose to have sex with a loser man who leaves you that is your choice. Nobody forced you to have sex with him. Nobody forced you to have a child with him. You chose it. And you're not a victim when you make bad decisions. You're a manipulative human being trying to make others feel guilty for your own wrong doing.
When we give single mothers a pass for being a victim all we are doing is promoting more single motherhood. The facts and data show that single moms are worse for children than two parents in every scenario. Single parent households are not as healthy for children as two parent households. This is common sense. And enabling single moms by making excuses for them and making them out to be victims is treating them no different than their child. They're adults. They're responsible. They're capable of making decisions. Stop enabling bad decisions and hold them accountable for bad decisions that they make. They're not victims. They're manipulators who will take advantage of anyone who will feel sorry for them.
Most poor people in first world countries are not victims. It's quite simple to get out of poverty in the first world:
That's it. If you follow these simple steps you have a great chance at not being poor. However, since most people choose to be victims they disregard simple information like this. And the real kicker: people will say what about if poor people have never heard this before? BS. They're hearing it right now, they've heard it in my article about this, and they continue to hold steadfast to their victim mentality and fight it. It's just another excuse.
Being poor is for the most part a choice. You may not choose where you start in life but you most certainly choose where you end up. How is this not common knowledge? It is common knowledge, it's just that victims don't want to take responsibility for their lives. They would much rather sit back, point the finger at other people and make others feel guilty for their hardships in life. This is what children do. Children don't take responsibility for themselves. I'm telling people to grow up and to harness your true potential and take responsibility for yourself.
Poor people are not victims. Poor people choose to be victims. All it takes is a change of thoughts to change from a poor mentality to a rich mentality. But again, these words I'm saying don't ring well to people of a poor mindset. They don't want to hear that the ball is in their court. They want me to tell them excuses. People want to hear excuses to take the work away from themselves and put it on somebody else. And as long as they continue to fight their true power and potential they will continue to be poor.
The victim mentality is endless. Communists didn't fail on their own accord, they failed because of outside factors they had no control over. Females aren't paid less because they choose to work less hours and less challenging jobs, it's all due to patriarchy and evil men. If a black person doesn't make it into a school it's not because they weren't smart enough, it's because the school is racist. Once again another victim. There is no shortage of excuses to make and victims to create.
Are you starting to see a pattern here? Do you see the sick, dark agenda lurking beneath everything? This is an agenda against excellence. This is a price people and nations pay for being better. Because make no mistake about it, this push for victimhood didn't just arise out of nowhere.
Do you notice it's always on the perceived negative side? Funny how the winners are never victims right? You're never a victim if you're on the winning side. Only losers can be victims. And winners never make excuses which is why they're winners. It's all quite obvious if you really think about it. Do you see what is going on here? Do you see how people are being manipulated to push an agenda?
If one person is born rich and another is born poor the poor person is a victim because poor is deemed to be bad. But why? Why isn't the rich person a victim also or instead? Because being a victim is about getting your way. Being a victim isn't about treating people the same, being a victim is about finding who did better than you or has something you want and making excuses for why you are where you are and they are where they are. I mean that is what excuses are all about. They're about creating something made up to get your way. And it works really well with most people because they don't want to hurt other people's feelings. And it's really easy to attach onto this kindness and niceness of other humans and take advantage of it. That's what's really going on with the increase we see in victimization and excuses.
All you have to do is play a few sports to know that weak people make excuses. Does Lebron James make excuses when he misses a shot? Does he blame his teammate or does he take responsibility? Of course he takes ownership. He's not a weak person. The person who is always losing is the one making excuses, not the person who is always winning. Excuses aren't for strong people, they're for weak people.
When the Cleveland Caviliers lost the first 2 games in the 2016 NBA Finals did they blame the other team and make excuses? Did they say, well, the Warriors are just too good and there's no way we can beat them so we better start making excuses? No! They went back to the drawing board, believed in themselves and solved the problem. They found a way to win. They took responsibility and threw all victimhood and excuses out the door. Being a victim is for losers.
We can turn anything into a victimization with just a few tweaks. Here, let me give you 5 random things off the top of my head.
See! I can do it too! It's really easy to be a victim -- that's why so many people do it. That's why 3rd graders do it. That's why childish adults do it. It's an easy way to avoid responsibility, save face and feed your ego. But it's not wise. It doesn't improve us. If anything it weakens us. I can understand the pull to want to play the victim, but I don't support it. It's not healthy.
The general consensus is that if you're born ugly you're a victim, even though being ugly may lead to the best possible life for you. Conversely, if you're born attractive you're privileged, even though this may lead to a terrible life for you. In reality, if you're really attractive you may experiment with sex really early on, get pregnant, become tied to children at an early age and be forced to put the rest of your life on hold because you didn't plan better. I'm not saying this is bad either, but it may not be the way you would have done it if you were ugly.
People don't even begin to look at things from a broad, big picture scope and as such come up with excuses that mirror their thin band of reality. People, in their absence of wisdom, think they know what is best for themselves when often times the decisions they make are naive and short-sighted. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, that's how we learn. But in doing so we often times think something is good for us when it is really bad for us.
We often times side with the consensus on what is good and what is bad without ever considering whether or not it really is good or bad for our unique, individual purpose.
It may be good to be ugly and to rely on actual content of your character as opposed to simply looks to get by. Many women want to be the prettiest woman around but is that really a life of growth and wisdom? Again I'm not saying it's bad to be attractive, but often times it can be a larger hurdle than we think. How many smart, attractive women do you know? How many smart, unattractive women do you know? Everyone knows the more attractive people are the less smart they are. Attractive people lean on their appearance as opposed to their character.
Is this much different than rich people or poor people? Why are we so quick to assume that being rich is better when being poor offers many unique challenges and opportunities for growth? Oh sorry, am I getting too real for you? Is this far too hardcore to actually consider being poor as a great opportunity for growth and wisdom? Is this something only a privileged person who has never been poor like myself would say? Does that not fit the materialistic narrative where all that matters is your immediate indulgences and gratification? Is having a larger scope of integrity and virtue something bereft of humans these days? Sorry about that, excuse me for suggesting that poor people may live a better life than rich people. How could I be so naive?
Wise people take responsibility, it's how you grow. If you never take responsibility you never accept that something needs to change. And if you don't change you will stay at the same level. We all actually know this at the foundational level. We get it. But when it actually comes to us changing ourselves and the hard challenge of humility and self-growth actually comes knocking on our door step we fail to answer.
We know that this makes us stronger but we don't want to be stronger, we want to be right.
We want to support our ego rather than support our character. And so we play the victim. It's not us that's wrong, it's something outside of ourselves.
All the wise teachings of both antiquity and present speak about self-responsibility and the importance of it. Many teachings even go so far as to teach that even if you are a legitimate victim you should still forgive and work on yourself. Even if you got screwed and something happened that was unfair you should still probably move on. This is what makes for a wise, powerful person. You become stronger when you overcome challenges, even if the challenges are not fair or right or whatever else.
There are actual real victims who have experienced things like sexual abuse at a young age. These are terrible experiences and complete victimization of a child who has no ability to escape it. This is at no fault or choice of the child. And yet, even with some of the most dire cases what do legitimate, real, quality counselors tell these victims about the events? They tell them to forgive. They tell them to let go. They tell them to face it head on, understand it and then to forgive. You can't hold onto it the rest of your life. You can't let the anger grow and hold on to the hate. You have to find a way to let go and the best way to let go is to forgive. For as all the wise teachers say, there really is never anything to forgive at all.
There is a really important point that has to be understood:
We don't have control over other people. The only thing we have control over is ourselves.
We can't change how people think. We can't change how people act. Only they have the power to do that. So we should realize this and instead shift our energy and focus to the one thing we can actually have an impact on: ourselves.
It's such an obvious realization that so few people truly grasp or live. We can't control what other people do. We're not always going to have things go our way.
It isn't about controlling the situation but instead controlling our response to the situation.
All the wise teachers teach this teaching because it is true and liberating.
When you stop pretending to be a victim and instead start acting like a human being then you will truly end all pain and problems that you see. The you will start to transform your life in the only real way that it can ever be transformed. Work on yourself and forget about everything else. This is what all the worlds greatest people have done and it's something we should do too if we want to be great.
...or just play the victim and live an easy life while making productive people feel guilty for your bad decisions. It's up to you and you will live life at the level that you choose to live it.Filed under: Personal Development, 3rd Grader Strategy, Victim of Life, Excuse Printing, It's The Russians, It's The 1%, It's The ________!